His Holiness

I can cross another item off my '100 Things' list. Well, technically, this item wasn't even on the list yet, but I'm adding it and checking if off in one motion, because it belongs there.

On Sunday, John and I went to see the Dalai Lama at Rutgers University. I had heard way back that he was coming to NJ, and I thought how great it would be to see him live (and how I had missed him when he was in Central Park last year ... or was it two years ago?), but I put it out of my mind until my friend Joanne asked if I wanted tickets. Tickets were only $10, and Rutgers University is only about 20 minutes away, so it was a no-brainer. Of course, it wasn't until sometime later that I thought about the possible traffic jams and crowds ... or about having to get up at the crack of dawn on a Sunday ... but hey, how often do you get to go see the Dalai Lama?

Tenzin (that's his first name) wasn't due to appear until 10:30, but the gates were opening at 6:30 a.m., and a program of chanting and music by Tibetan monks and Rutgers music students was starting at 8:30. Everyone had to be in the stadium by 10 a.m.

We got up at 6:30, showered and took the dogs out, and were out the door by 7:30. We didn't hit any traffic until we were just entering the parking lot, and oddly enough, the most difficult part of the whole day was finding our designated 'orange' parking area. Eventually, after a couple of rounds of the blind leading the blind, we found it, got on the shuttle bus, and were at the stadium in just a few minutes. With the exception of the parking confusion (only for our color, for some reason), everything was extremely well-organized and orderly, especially considering the size of the crowd.

The weather was perfect ... overcast, but not raining, and not hot. It was a pleasant day to be outdoors. Our tickets were in the end zone, clear across the field from the stage. Luckily, we could rely on the big screen for a closer view. As we waited, I entertained myself with people watching ... the three monks in the row in front of us ... children entertaining themselves by doodling ... the 'secret service' people on the field and in the trees with their suits and sunglasses (they weren't really Secret Service, just security, but it was fun to pretend) ... the amazing diversity of people who came to hear a message about 'Peace, War, and Reconciliation' on a fall Sunday in September.

As 10:30 neared, we could see quite a few empty seats much closer to the stage (even though the event was sold out), so we took a chance and moved over to about the 40-yard line, where we had a much better view. Soon, we could see the police escort and limo pulling up on the road behind the stage, and a few minutes later, we could see his red and yellow robe emerge from the back of the stage. As the audience started to clap and rise to their feet, Tenzin bowed several times to the musicians on the stage, then turned and bowed to the audience. The sound of thousands of people clapping became complete silence in an instant ... silence so peaceful and reverent I felt emotion rise. Then, just as quickly, a big smile broke out across his face and he waved to all of us to sit down, bringing forth waves of laughter.

Before his talk, he received an Honorary Doctorate in Humane Letters, and he joked during his opening remarks (which he shared through an interpreter), that it was really nice to receive such a special honor without actually having to do all the work. Behind me, I could hear a woman say, 'he's so cute,' and he really is. He's also very funny, and he quickly put everyone at ease, saying he felt like he was just sitting down to talk with good friends. He warned us that he would have nothing original or unique to say on the topic of 'peace, war and reconciliation,' and hoped we wouldn't be too disappointed at the end, but that if we were, at least we would have a chance to spend some nice time outdoors on a pleasant day.

He spoke for about 40 minutes, in good English, occasionally turning to his interpreter for help with a particular word or phrase. With apologies for not being able to truly capture the full message and tone of his talk, here are some of the things I keyed into ...

• The concept of war is outdated, especially now that we live in a world where we are so interdependent. Any harm we do to another we do to ourselves.
• To have peace, we need both external disarmament of physical weapons and inner disarmament of the emotions that obscure truth and clarity and cause harm to both ourselves and others (e.g., hatred, jelousy, anger, etc.). We can't have peace in the world unless we have peace in our hearts as individuals in our everyday dealings.
• Any action that is motivated by compassion is peace.
• Education and expanding our awareness of how we are all fundamentally alike are the keys to creating peace. Ignorance is at the root of violence and separation among people.
• In his opinion, things have actually improved significantly since the days of the Cold War in the 50s and 60s, when there was a real threat of a nuclear holocaust. It was a perspective I hadn't really considered, in light of 9/11 and the Iraq War, but one that is hopeful. He pointed to the increasing numbers of people who are now more aware of the ineffectiveness of violence and war, and who are committed to peace, especially the younger generations, he said. He believes we are moving toward a peaceful world ... perhaps even in this century. That's something I really, truly want to believe.

After his talk, he spent 20 minutes answering some of the questions that had been submitted on the website, then thanked us for coming. I left feeling as if I'd just spent a wonderful time sitting with a wise grandfather ... one who is fully aware of the realities of life and the world, but one that is also hopeful about the future, trusting that good will prevail, exuding an inner sense of happiness for the little joys in life, and ready to crack a joke at any moment.

I was not disappointed.

We made our way through the crowd and back to the shuttle buses. No sooner had I climbed on and said to John, ' ... looks like it's full, I think we'll have to stand,' than a tiny little old Asian woman scooted over in her seat and waved me over to sit next to her. I had one cheek on and one cheek off, but oh, what a nice ride it was, all because of that kind gesture from a stranger.

We may not have peace in the world (yet), but we can express it and experience moments of it, everyday, in so many small ways.

Peace.

Comments

[deb]

Oh DELISH Maria! Thanks for sharing your experience; feel like I got a bit of the vibe just from reading your snapshot (as usual - you do have that way of inviting us in!). Peace to you too dahlink! xoxo D

[Milly]

Sounds like a great experience. I would have loved to have been there. Thanks for sharing some of his wisdom.

[Milliners Dream]

I don't know whether to congratulate you or not--you know? I know it was a great experience and yet one that doesn't likely make you feel as if you DID something...but I _am_ impressed that this was on your list and that you made the effort to see His Holiness, and spend your time this way.

Blessings,
Hh

[Swirly]

What a lovely story. I remember reading an article about his visit to Santa Barbara a few years ago, and at one point he was at the beach watching some surfers - and just loving it, seeing what fun they were having in the waves. I love that image of him - smiling & watching the surfers.

[Marilyn]

He seems always to be smiling. I always (in my Western way of thinking) interpret that as "happy"...when it probably means more closely "at peace." I, too, had never thought that we're collectively better at having a peaceful mindset post-Cold War, but it's true...something to remember. As for "inner disarmament"...(sigh)...it always comes back to that, doesn't it? ;)

[Will]

I'm glad to hear him mentioning the change since the Cold War. It has been significant. And for the better, I feel as well.

It all came home to me when I tried to share the Matthew Broderick movie "War Games" with my kids a while back. I didn't realized it until viewing it post Y2K, but that movie depended a lot on the stress and fear of what seemed like the impending doom of that time.

When I watched it with the kids, they never caught the emotional importance of what was going on or what failure meant in the plot. The movie didn't have to establish a lot of detail on what the consequence of an unintended nuclear launch would mean. We all knew back then.

But for my kids it was as removed and encrypted as if they were watching a French film without subtitles. They could see people were getting very upset, but they couldn't entirely be sure about what.

Growing up I was all the more in tune with the frantic nature of was being said in that film because we lived so near to Omaha, home of the U.S. Strategic Air Command center ---reported to be the primary target, ground zero, of a nuclear assault by the Soviet Union. So we knew that if it ever happened, there was no hope for us. That loomed over me all my years of growing up.

On T.V. once they interviewed school children in the mid-80s who expressed that they were quite confident they would never see 30. That nuclear devastation would end their life long before that.

I'm so glad that my children aren't growing up with that constantly in their minds. Even terrorist attacks, a war in Iraq, and Hurricanes all put together can't compare with the devastation that a nuclear holocaust would have brought. Something that felt so certain back then, now feels like the invention of an overactive Hollywood imagination.

Hopefully things will constantly continue to improve as we shed the generations still so gripped in that memory that they continue to cling to the outdated military complex like the only shield against the storm (the storm that is less and less likely to come).

Making a note of the changes for the better like he did is a good way to continue to build hope. A refreshing breath in a month that has knocked the wind out of us.

[Lu]

You are the second person I have heard say they went to see him. It must have been an amazing experience.

[Lisa Taylor Huff]

So envious that I wasn't there, too! I heard about it after it had happened, unfortunately. VERY cool that you got to go?

I don't supposed you caught a glimpse of Richard Gere by any chance?

[Kerstin]

Thanks Maria, for such a comprehensive overview of your day. My first thought was how well you summed up the key points of his message.

I must admit though, all this talk about inner disarmantent, compassion and ignorance leaves me with very mixed feelings. While I was reading your post my husband's 11-year old son was playing one of his video games in the background; you know, monsters destroying other monsters and god knows what else. He is a bit of an introvert and spends a lot of his time playing these games. I asked him about their appeal to him and he says he likes 'destroying things', the louder and more devestating the better. He is a good kid with a big heart who would never harm anything or anyone in real life. But I do wonder what this kind of aggressive virtual life does to the future generation of our world? Then again, if you read the old fairy tales that kept our ancestors entertained, they were pretty violent, too, weren't they? Does this mean we haven't really learnt anything? Or is it simply part of life, the shadow where there is light?

Mankind has always fought wars and will continue to do so. The only thing that ever changes is the means by which we do things and the boundaries that we fight over. And the boundaries do shift and expand. For centuries Europe was at war one way ot another; yet I doubt that the French, the British, the Germans or any other European country will ever point their guns at each other again. That is progress indeed. But as long as there is hunger in this world - be it physical and/or the desire for power and riches - we will do whatever it takes to still it. Just in different places, using different weapons, depending on the state of our evolution.

Sometimes I just feel so world-weary, and overwhelmed by all the stuff that it thrown at us by the media. But I do believe in compassion. And in doing whatever I can to fight ignorance and encourage hope and peace. And all of this starts with myself.

And so, instead of feeling resentful at my husband's son for playing those 'stupid' games I appreciate that he is considerate (without anyone telling him so) and keeps the volume off when I am around. And I talk to him about his fascination with these games and l learn that what he really likes is the physcial interaction of pressing the buttons and 'making things happen' in a way that requires rather sophisticated motor skills. There is hope for the world yet!

Take care, Kerstin