winding road

His Holiness

I can cross another item off my '100 Things' list. Well, technically, this item wasn't even on the list yet, but I'm adding it and checking if off in one motion, because it belongs there.

On Sunday, John and I went to see the Dalai Lama at Rutgers University. I had heard way back that he was coming to NJ, and I thought how great it would be to see him live (and how I had missed him when he was in Central Park last year ... or was it two years ago?), but I put it out of my mind until my friend Joanne asked if I wanted tickets. Tickets were only $10, and Rutgers University is only about 20 minutes away, so it was a no-brainer. Of course, it wasn't until sometime later that I thought about the possible traffic jams and crowds ... or about having to get up at the crack of dawn on a Sunday ... but hey, how often do you get to go see the Dalai Lama?

Tenzin (that's his first name) wasn't due to appear until 10:30, but the gates were opening at 6:30 a.m., and a program of chanting and music by Tibetan monks and Rutgers music students was starting at 8:30. Everyone had to be in the stadium by 10 a.m.

We got up at 6:30, showered and took the dogs out, and were out the door by 7:30. We didn't hit any traffic until we were just entering the parking lot, and oddly enough, the most difficult part of the whole day was finding our designated 'orange' parking area. Eventually, after a couple of rounds of the blind leading the blind, we found it, got on the shuttle bus, and were at the stadium in just a few minutes. With the exception of the parking confusion (only for our color, for some reason), everything was extremely well-organized and orderly, especially considering the size of the crowd.

The weather was perfect ... overcast, but not raining, and not hot. It was a pleasant day to be outdoors. Our tickets were in the end zone, clear across the field from the stage. Luckily, we could rely on the big screen for a closer view. As we waited, I entertained myself with people watching ... the three monks in the row in front of us ... children entertaining themselves by doodling ... the 'secret service' people on the field and in the trees with their suits and sunglasses (they weren't really Secret Service, just security, but it was fun to pretend) ... the amazing diversity of people who came to hear a message about 'Peace, War, and Reconciliation' on a fall Sunday in September.

As 10:30 neared, we could see quite a few empty seats much closer to the stage (even though the event was sold out), so we took a chance and moved over to about the 40-yard line, where we had a much better view. Soon, we could see the police escort and limo pulling up on the road behind the stage, and a few minutes later, we could see his red and yellow robe emerge from the back of the stage. As the audience started to clap and rise to their feet, Tenzin bowed several times to the musicians on the stage, then turned and bowed to the audience. The sound of thousands of people clapping became complete silence in an instant ... silence so peaceful and reverent I felt emotion rise. Then, just as quickly, a big smile broke out across his face and he waved to all of us to sit down, bringing forth waves of laughter.

Before his talk, he received an Honorary Doctorate in Humane Letters, and he joked during his opening remarks (which he shared through an interpreter), that it was really nice to receive such a special honor without actually having to do all the work. Behind me, I could hear a woman say, 'he's so cute,' and he really is. He's also very funny, and he quickly put everyone at ease, saying he felt like he was just sitting down to talk with good friends. He warned us that he would have nothing original or unique to say on the topic of 'peace, war and reconciliation,' and hoped we wouldn't be too disappointed at the end, but that if we were, at least we would have a chance to spend some nice time outdoors on a pleasant day.

He spoke for about 40 minutes, in good English, occasionally turning to his interpreter for help with a particular word or phrase. With apologies for not being able to truly capture the full message and tone of his talk, here are some of the things I keyed into ...

• The concept of war is outdated, especially now that we live in a world where we are so interdependent. Any harm we do to another we do to ourselves.
• To have peace, we need both external disarmament of physical weapons and inner disarmament of the emotions that obscure truth and clarity and cause harm to both ourselves and others (e.g., hatred, jelousy, anger, etc.). We can't have peace in the world unless we have peace in our hearts as individuals in our everyday dealings.
• Any action that is motivated by compassion is peace.
• Education and expanding our awareness of how we are all fundamentally alike are the keys to creating peace. Ignorance is at the root of violence and separation among people.
• In his opinion, things have actually improved significantly since the days of the Cold War in the 50s and 60s, when there was a real threat of a nuclear holocaust. It was a perspective I hadn't really considered, in light of 9/11 and the Iraq War, but one that is hopeful. He pointed to the increasing numbers of people who are now more aware of the ineffectiveness of violence and war, and who are committed to peace, especially the younger generations, he said. He believes we are moving toward a peaceful world ... perhaps even in this century. That's something I really, truly want to believe.

After his talk, he spent 20 minutes answering some of the questions that had been submitted on the website, then thanked us for coming. I left feeling as if I'd just spent a wonderful time sitting with a wise grandfather ... one who is fully aware of the realities of life and the world, but one that is also hopeful about the future, trusting that good will prevail, exuding an inner sense of happiness for the little joys in life, and ready to crack a joke at any moment.

I was not disappointed.

We made our way through the crowd and back to the shuttle buses. No sooner had I climbed on and said to John, ' ... looks like it's full, I think we'll have to stand,' than a tiny little old Asian woman scooted over in her seat and waved me over to sit next to her. I had one cheek on and one cheek off, but oh, what a nice ride it was, all because of that kind gesture from a stranger.

We may not have peace in the world (yet), but we can express it and experience moments of it, everyday, in so many small ways.

Peace.

Links-a-million - #1

If I could spend my days surfing the net checking out really cool links, I'd be one happy camper. Of course, the fact that I can't doesn't seem to stop me, as you would see if you took one look at my long list of bookmarks.

Remember the 7,000 emails I had in my 'sent' folder? Down to 18 ... yeah, baby! Granted, some messages just got moved to other folders for further review, but most got the heave ho, and so did lots and lots of other stuff. So I'm ready to move on to organizing my bookmarks (lucky you!). I figure a fall-cleaning project is a good way to kick off Fall, right? ... and maybe if do it slowly, sharing just a few at a time, you won't even notice how long your 'favorites' list gets by the end of the year.

• Wanna look as cool as the people in the iPod ads? Last week as I waited to get in to the see the dermatologist (oh, the mole results are in and it was benign), I picked up an old issue of Fortune and found out about this site, where you can get your very own 'iPod picture.' Of course, it's not free, but even if you don't want to spring for the $7.99 (which is a lot less than an iPod if you want something to tide you over while you save up for the real thing), you can have a lot of fun checking out the gallery of other people's iPod pics. Two of my favorites are here and here.
• Don't Date Him Girl! On my way to the doctor's office last week, I heard two DJs talking about this new site where women can get even with guys who cheat on them --  and warn other women to avoid the same fate -- by ratting out the guy in public with his picture and story. You can also search the database to see if the 'great new guy' who's got you head over heels has already left a trail of broken hearts behind him ... or maybe has a pregnant wife he's forgotten to mention, perhaps? Oh, the power of the Internet. And, of course, there's a blog, too.
• If you're tired of bad news ... check out the Good News Blog, where each day you can read a bunch of positive, uplifting stories about topics such as Hurricane Katrina reunions, animal rescues (and people rescues, too), medical breakthroughs, and generous things people are doing. Good link to have on hand for those 'bad-hair' days when you feel like your life (or the world) is under a dark cloud.
• A little spray'll do ya! This one showed up in my latest issue of Iconowatch, which is one of the coolest ezines around if you want to hear about hot new trends as they're emerging. One of the items in this week's issue was the Flavor Spray Diet, invented by David Burke, who trained at the Culinary Institute of America and has some impressive credentials. The stuff has zero calories, zero cholesterol, zero fat, zero carbohydrates, FDA-approved flavoring, and comes in flavors such as Strawberry Shortcake, Smoked Bacon, and Mochaccino. There are even recipes and menu suggestions on the site, and for $5.95 a bottle, it's hard not to give in to temptation ... just to see if it could possibly be even half as good as it sounds. Any foodies out there who want to be a guinea pig?
• A penny for your thoughts. Do you ever wonder what other people really think about? Check out The Thought Project, created by Simon Hoegsberg. Over a period of three months, he stopped 150 strangers on the streets of New York City, Copenhagen, and Denmark, and asked them what they were thinking the second before he stopped them. He recorded what they told him, took their picture, and posted 55 of the interviews on the site. Very cool.

That's it for today, boys and girls ... have fun surfing! ( ... and of course, feel free to dump some of your bookmarks on us too).

New week, part two

... so, by the middle of last week, I was pulling out my journal and writing a big headline across the top of a new page: What Went Right This Week. Sometimes, you have to get that simple. In fact, I really enjoyed looking for the bright spots in what was feeling like a pretty off week. Here are a few highlights of note, in no particular order:

• John and I got to spend lots of time together and had several wonderful and leisurely lunches out, which was really nice. One was at Macaroni Grill, where I had a yummy frozen Bellini, and one was at a little place called Redwoods, followed by a stop at the chocolatier next door, and an old-time candy store where they have all your old favorite childhood candies. What fun. Pop Rocks, anyone?
• My new TracFone (cellphone) arrived, so I will no longer be paying an average of $2/minute with my old service (since I use the cellphone a whopping 19 minutes a month or so).
• I got my copy of Notes from an Island Life in the mail Saturday, and just loved all the wonderful essays Marilyn chose for this collection, which is being used to raise money for the Red Cross/Hurricane Katrina. Each one was like a perfect little gem, or a delectable bite-size chocolate (if you prefer food metaphors like I do).
• I also received my copy of Escape Adulthood: 8 Secrets from Childhood for the Stressed-Out Grown-Up. I wrote about Jason's manifesto in a previous post, so I'm really looking forward to reading the expanded version. What made this delivery even more special is that it came in a box with lots of other little goodies, including some Kim & Jason postcards, an Escape Adulthood sticker (for which I need to find just the perfect spot), and a little packet of Kool-Aid Lemonade (their online store is called The Lemonade Stand). And, as if that wasn't enough, that very same day I also received a hand-written greeting card from Jason, thanking me for my order. Sweet.
• Several magazines arrived in the mail, which always makes me very happy for some reason ... the new O (Oprah magazine), More, Entrepreneur, and Organic Style.
• We matched three numbers in the big $250 million MegaMillions drawing Friday. That means we won $7. It's not the big prize, no, but it's better than nothing, right? Add that to the $3 we won two weeks ago on the Pick6, and we're talkin' double digits, baby.
• I made good progress on preparing for my first craft fair, which is coming up Oct. 1. Three of the four supply orders I placed last week arrived, and one of them (from Rings & Things) came with a Tootsie Roll and a Jolly Rancher. Small things, I know, but for some reason, it made me feel good about ordering from them (... and made me wonder what I should enclose in my believe street orders to create that kind of impression ...). Fire Mountain Gems also usually encloses some small little gift with each order, and when you open their box the first thing you see is a piece of pretty green tissue paper and a sticker that says 'Packed with love by Fire Mountain Gems.'  I like that.
• The books I mailed to Jamila in St. Croix on Aug. 24th finally arrived last week. I knew it would be slow, but I had no idea it would be that slow. Nonetheless, they did arrive and didn't happen to be in a post office in the Gulf Coast when Hurricane Katrina hit.
• A good friend who's been job-hunting was offered a wonderful new job with a nice pay boost ... yay!! I'm so happy for her.

And so, last week wasn't only about bad juju; it just seemed that way at first. Sometimes the good stuff's not as obvious, but it's there.

What good things have happened to you recently? What do you do when you seem to be having a streak of bad luck?

I'm glad it's a new week

... not because John is back at work after a week's vacation (I miss him), but because last week was full of bad juju for some reason ( ... the full moon, maybe?). Here's a little taste ...

• On Saturday (Sept. 10), John started on his big bike project -- changing out the sprocket. After overcoming several snags (most of them involving trips to the store), he realized on the very last step that he couldn't re-install the pipes with the old gaskets. So, last Monday, he had to order new ones from the dealer. The net-net: add a week to the bike project and forget any thoughts of riding on your vacation ... since the parts just came in today, four hours into your first day back at work.
• On Sunday, his laptop crashed ... something about an 'NTLDR file missing.' It wouldn't even start up in safe mode. After reloading Windows XP several times and tinkering with it for most of the week, it's finally back and working pretty well ... um, give or take a few files.
• On Tuesday, I went to a dermatologist for a skin exam, something I'd been meaning to do for a long time. When I called Monday, expecting to have to wait several weeks, they had just had a cancellation for the following morning, so I took it. Turns out the two spots I was concerned about were actually nothing ... just normal things that happen as we age (ouch!). The small, innocent-looking mole on my inner forearm, though, was another matter. It was darker than the others, and in a place that doesn't normally get much sun, so she said she wanted to send it for a biopsy.
  
  Since this was my first experience with a suspicious mole, I figured she would just delicately scrape off the teeniest tiniest little bit of it and send it to a lab to see IF it had to be removed ... but when I got home and took off the bandage (I had been lying on the table and didn't see what she did), I realized what she actually meant was that she would remove the whole mole and I would have a big bloody gouge in my arm. Okay, it's really a very small spot, but I just wasn't prepared to see my raw flesh, so I literally had lie down until my queasiness passed. Guess I wouldn't make a very good ER doctor ...
  
  A few days later, I picked up an old magazine at random from my overflowing stacks, and what did it contain but a big article on melanoma. In one case, a woman had a mole removed and was told it was benign, but actually, there were a few melanoma cells that were missed ... and the cancer spread over the next few years, unbeknownst to her. By the time it was discovered, she was already in stage III melanoma. Reading that didn't make me sleep any easier as I wait for my results.
• Next ... on Wednesday, as I was coming out of a dream around 5 a.m., I noticed that my jaw and chin felt really itchy! I scratched it, but it wouldn't go away. So I got up, went to the bathroom, turned on the light and ... 'Oh my GOD, what happened to my FACE?' It was bright red and burning hot as if I'd been in the sun for hours. It was itching like crazy, and ... it was so swollen, I looked like I'd gone 15 rounds with Mike Tyson. My eyelids were all puffed up like a blowfish, too. Oh brother!
  
  All I can figure out is that I must have had a really bad reaction to the new bottle of moisturizer I'd started Tuesday night ... the one that has 'vitamins, green tea extract, and pure spring water,' and that's hypo-allergenic and non-comedogenic, according to the label. Otherwise, I just don't know what it could have been, since the dermatologist hadn't done anything to my face, but it was bad. I spent the day putting extra-strength Benadryl cream on it and luckily, the itching, heat, and swelling were mostly gone by Thursday, and the redness was confined to my chin, which then flaked over the next few days ... guess I could just think of it as getting a cheap chemical peel without the spa prices, right?
• On Friday night, when I took Cloud out, I noticed a little gray lump on the patio among the leaves. At first I thought it was a dead mouse, but when I took a closer look, I saw that it was actually a little dead bird. When I mentioned it to John ( ... so he could dispose of it, of course ... because he's the guy and all), he remembered hearing a thump outside that afternoon, but wasn't sure what it was. Well, we determined that it must have been him (or her) flying into the second-story bathroom window before falling down dead on the patio.

See what I mean? Bad juju.

On the other hand, lots of good things happened too ... (but I'll have to write about those tomorrow, because I started this post this morning -- when it was appropriate to write about a new week -- and now, after a day of interruptions and other activity, it's nearly 10:30 and time to give my little fingers a rest ... )

Want to hear something really cool?

Go check out Kerstin's post (it's not long) ... then tell me blogging isn't just the greatest thing since sliced bread.

(hmm ... what's so great about sliced bread, I wonder, that made it the reference point for all new inventions since?)

I 'met' Kerstin in late August, after she left a comment here. She had found me through another blog where I had posted a comment (either this one or this one or this one, can't remember now). Kerstin and her husband, Tom, live in the U.K. but are moving to Northampton, Mass., in just a few weeks, and I have a good friend who lives in the area. It's a very cool and funky town. So, we've been reading each other's blogs, e-mailing, and just a few short weeks later, I go to her blog and read about this wonderful bit of goodness. My soul is doing its little happy dance (which looks a lot like Snoopy's happy dance, too). Yay ...

Thanks, Kerstin and Tom, for your kind-heartedness. I simply love how your act of generosity touched others and brought forth yet more. You truly are the pebble in the pond ( ... well, across the pond, but you get the idea). 

Walking & clicking - #2

The latest batch of images captured during my last walk around the 'hood ...

( ... which I'll admit was more than a week ago now ... and while I'm confessing, I'll also admit that while I was out walking, trying to burn some calories, I stopped at the local drugstore and had an ice cream cone ... the yummiest raspberry ... hey it was really hot that day and I was starting to get the shakes!)

There are 10 images in all ... click here to see them. I've written a brief caption under each one.

Thanks for spending part of your day here on believe street, and have a great weekend.

Go Agassi ( ... it's an age thing).

Random bits of goodness - #1

As I mentioned yesterday, I want to have a regular feature here to highlight people, stories, and ideas that inspire me and remind me of all the good stuff there is to be found among the challenges and human suffering that are also part of life. So, here's the first 'installment.' I'd love it if you shared your own random bits of goodness here, too ...

• My friend Maria: I just loved this wonderful piece (and pictures) that appeared in the local paper recently about my friend Maria. So good!
• Flashes of Hope: I received a newsletter recently featuring Allison Clarke, founder of Flashes of Hope. It's an organization that creates beautiful photographs of children with cancer and other serious pediatric illnesses, inspired by Allison's own experience when her son was 18 months old. I got goosebumps reading her story and looking at their gorgeous website (... get your hanky ready).
• Everyday Hero: Three years ago, when I was doing a lot of long walks in preparation for the Breast Cancer 3-Day Walk, I would often drive to a nearby neighboohood to break up the monotony. One day, off in the distance, I saw an elderly man riding his bike. Every few yards, he would bring the bike to a stop, hop off, and pick something up off the ground. Then he would get back on, pedal a few yards, and do it again. What's he doing? I wondered ... that's a funny way to get exercise! When our paths crossed, I saw that he was actually stopping every few yards to pick up garbage ... the soda cans, empty cigarette packs, and fast-food containers others had carelessly thrown out their car windows. I stopped and had a brief conversation with him, and found out that he did this every couple of days on the same stretch of road, and always filled the bag (or bags) he had hanging off his bike. He said it was his way of keeping things clean and more beautiful, and he actually seemed happy about doing it ( ... where I would have been full of resentment at the litterbugs). To this day, I still remember that man, going along on his bike picking up garbage. I wonder how many people in his neighborhood realize what he does. I think he's going straight to heaven.
• More ways to help: Finally, a few more soulful ways to help the hurricane relief efforts ...
  • Marilyn has compiled reflections from her five years of living on a Caribbean island into Notes from an Island Life, and is giving all proceeds from the book to the American Red Cross (so go buy one, would you?). I can't wait for my copy to arrive ( ... because 'notes from an island life' sounds so much more interesting than 'notes from New Jersey').
  • French Toast Girl is auctioning off a beautiful print (see detail, right) on eBay and sending all proceeds to the Mercy Corps (... she also did this for tsunami relief with another gorgeous painting).
  • The National Association of Women Writers is donating 20% of all revenues in the month of September to the Red Cross. So, if you've been thinking of joining, now's the time!
  • The I AM Foundation (whose mission is to gift children with books and music), has already shipped 2,500 books to kids in the Astrodome and is working on many more. So, if you're passionate about books and reading, this is a wonderful way to bring comfort to kids affected by Hurricane Katrina.

Thanks for spending part of your day here on believe street :-)

What I'm noticing

I started writing a post yesterday. It was about how I want to start a new regular feature here called 'Random Bits of Goodness,' to share little bits (and links) of things that are good in the world, of things that are working; of people who are an inspiration, who are doing courageous and wonderful things; of things that lift my soul ... because at times like these, I have to really remind myself that life is not all suffering and despair ... that there is good to be found everywhere, too ... and that I want (and need) to intentionally look for it, lest I forget.

But I struggled for the words, and I struggled with the title for a while. Part of me wanted to call it, 'What a Wonderful World,' after the song made famous by Louis Armstrong, who was from New Orleans ... but another part of me felt that was probably too over the top, even for a Pollyanna like me. Then I thought maybe the real reason I kept waffling on that title is that there are days when I wonder if I can really believe that it's a wonderful world ...

Anyway, I wasted a lot of time at the computer on all that (while listening to the song clip, of course, of which I never grow tired) before finally deciding I needed to step away from it in mid-stream and let it steep while I did other things. I was disappointed that I hadn't gotten the post done quickly and moved on to other work, which was my plan. I decided that today it would be no more Mr. Nice Guy ... that I had to manage my time and myself better than I did yesterday.

And then I watched TV last night ... CNN and MSNBC and Oprah (which re-airs here at 7 p.m. each night), not able to bring myself to hit that off button on the remote ... and then, feeling really sad and emotional but still determined to go on with 'life as usual' today, I read my regular lineup of blogs this morning. One of them was Carol Ross's, which had a wonderful post about what's she's noticing since Hurricane Katrina hit last week, and invited others to share what they're noticing, too.

I have been noticing so much stuff, to be honest -- both in others, the collective, and myself -- that at times it feels overwhelming ... at times I'm not sure what to do with it, or about it. So my first impulse after reading Carol's post was to back away from the keyboard ... slowly ... without making any sudden moves ... and go do a load of laundry or something, or make some jewelry. But then I decided to go back (after putting in that load of laundry) and allow myself to consider Carol's question, and to try to express some of what I'm noticing after all in her comments section. I've known Carol for some years now and think the world of her, so there is a personal context there, and that means I felt more safe sharing my thoughts there than I would on some other blogs. (As a side note, Carol, who is a great writer and has written many wonderful articles over the years, recently started her own blog, and I hope you'll add it to your blogroll.)

When I was done typing, I realized, '... that's my post ... that's my own post for today. What I started writing yesterday will be finished and shared, maybe tomorrow, but this is what I need to say today.' Besides, I really do have to get some work done, and I am very slow at writing posts.

So, with apologies in advance to anyone who may take offense to any of this, I'm re-printing here what I wrote in Carol's comments:

Oooh boy, does your post and that question stir up a lot of stuff for me. My temptation is to just be politically correct and keep it all to myself, but since you asked :-)

• I noticed that I felt really angry last week when so much of the TV coverage I saw was about 'cornering' the officials into pointing fingers at another official or organization, or about admitting blame themselves. I feel like we are such a 'blame-oriented' culture, especially at times like this. Of course there is a time to learn about how well the response and our actions worked (or didn't), in a spirit of improvement, but I felt angry at the stations because I thought it would have been a much better use of the airwaves, instead of what they did, to use the time to air brief video messages of people letting others know they were alive, or of people searching for loved ones, etc.
• I noticed that someone accused a blogger whose blog I read every day of doing a 'flyover' on the hurricane, too, and that it stirred up an incredible firestorm in the comments section, with people taking stands on both sides of the fence. I noticed that when someone chastised the person who wrote the first accusatory comment, and then wrote, 'I just hate judgmental people,' I had to laugh at the irony, and notice my own judgments about it, too, and how it's a never-ending loop. I noticed that it is SO very much in my nature to avoid conflict and seek harmony at all costs ... that conflict makes me very uncomfortable ... that I see it as being so very unnecessary and a total waste of time because life is so short and precious ... but I also notice how that philosophy can be my own form of a cop-out in certain situations. [Oh, and I noticed that reading all this on another blog made a little afraid and paranoid to write about it in my own blog, fearing what it might stir up in others, or fearing a personal 'attack.']
• I noticed (and continue to notice) that it makes me really upset when I hear comments like, 'this shouldn't happen in America,' or, 'these are Americans ... this shouldn't happen to Americans,' or, 'we're the wealthiest nation in the world and we should take better care of our own,' and all the variations on that theme. I know what people are trying to say, but it upsets me because I think, ' ... but why SHOULDN'T it happen in America? Do we think we're exempt from this kind of disaster, or above faltering? It really SHOULDN'T happen anywhere, no, but it does, because we are not almighty after all, even if we want to think we can be.'
  
  What about the thousands of people who die every single day in Africa from lack of food or water, or in other parts of the world? Why aren't we also up in arms about that ... going on TV and demanding that something be done about that? The comments I hear make me feel like some people are saying or implying that the lives of people outside America are less valuable somehow, or that, conversely, those of Americans are more valuable.
• I noticed that some people expressed embarrassment about what the rest of the world will think (or thinks) of America now ... especially after some of the images they're seeing on TV ... and I think, maybe the rest of the world should finally realize that there are poor people in America, that America is not perfect and that there are social issues here, too ... and that not every American is rich or arrogant or lives in a mansion.
• On that theme, I noticed that when I read comments on other blogs that painted a broad brush of 'Americans' as being too self-absorbed or 'comfy in their consumer-driven lifestyles' to care about this instead of just about their little personal lives, that I got really angry ... that I was sure those people wouldn't like it if someone made a comment about how 'all _______ (insert their nationality, etc.) are ________.' Any time a group of people is lumped under one adjective, it feels like a detriment to all of us ... like it brings everyone down to a lower level.
  
  I get angry at some of the media coverage overseas that doesn't paint a balanced picture, and that some people then form their opinions about Americans as a group (or other ethnic groups) on that. I was not born in the U.S., but have lived here for 35 years now, having moved here when I was 8, and perhaps that has shaped a different or more inclusive worldview for me, but I notice that 'nationalistic' comments of any kind really stir stuff up for me. I want to shout, 'People, wake up! There's only one race ... the human race ... and unless we get that and stand for each other, regardless of nationality, etc., we're missing the boat!'
  
  I notice that I can love and cherish this country and the freedoms it supports, and still hold that broader view that we are all important, regardless of what country we call home ... that the two thoughts are not mutually exclusive. I hope I live to see more of the man-made walls that keep us separated come down in my lifetime.
• I noticed (or perceived) that when people were criticizing the rescue efforts last week, that I didn't hear anyone say, 'hey, let's not be critical of them ... these people are out there trying to help and they need all of our support right now, and criticizing them will only demoralize them' ... which is what some people say about our troops in Iraq. I wondered why that was.
• I noticed that some of the views expressed last week seemed to have an underlying belief that it's the government's responsibility to take care of us and that no matter what happens, they should make everything okay again ASAP, like a parent with a child. I noticed that it seemed to shake some people's foundations and stir up really deep fears about safety and wellbeing ... that if it's not the government's job to make everything okay, or that if they can't, then what? That thought seems to leave some people really shaken.
• I noticed that I am feeling more ungrounded about all this this week than last week ... and that it's harder to work and keep my focus. Perhaps last week the scales were tipped more towards the anger I was feeling at all of the above, and to the 'big picture' view of the disaster, and this week, the stories are down on the ground, and really personal, and it breaks my heart to see or read about what people are going through. I noticed that I could not make myself turn off the TV or change the channel, either.
• I noticed that when I imagined the possibility of ever having to evacuate our home and maybe never going back, that there were very few physical possessions I would really feel compelled to take ... besides us and the dogs, it comes down to my computer, my digital camera, a few important papers, perhaps some pictures, and some clothes to get by for a while. I noticed that this is all in theory, and that I have NO idea whatsoever what it would really feel like, or how I would respond ... that it's so much easier in the abstract, always, and that I might in fact discover that I'm a lot more attached to my stuff than I perceive myself to be (even though I consciously work at that detachment) ... but that all of that is not a reason to not think about it or prepare for the possibility of losing everything in an instant, even if only as a theoretical exercise.
• I noticed that alongside the destruction and devastation, and the 'worst' of human behavior, there is also incredible kindness, compassion, and love. There is immeasurable courage and goodwill and caring and hope. People donating money, volunteering at shelters, opening their homes, taking time to listen to the stories, leading fundraising efforts, etc. I notice that unless I put as much focus on that, and on all the miracles there are to be found in my own day-to-day life, I can be completely overtaken by my own grief and sadness, and that it's a tough balance to keep some days.
• I notice that I want to do more, and not just for this event, but all the time, in whatever small ways or big ways I can, because as you wrote, it's not only about responding like this when crisis hits ... there is crisis every day in so many people's lives, in so many places ... and that when things like this happen, I always hope that a little bit of the experience seeps into the collective consciousness so that maybe we can live our everyday lives from a different place from then on ... a little more like we live when we are responding to a crisis ... more sensitive, more patient, more understanding, more compassionate in our day-to-day dealings ... because it's so easy to go back to sleep after the crisis passes.
• I notice that I'm really grateful you asked :-), and that I hope I didn't offend anybody (though I probably did), and if so, I apologize. These are just my views, and I tried to share them respectfully, because I think there is space for that, and a way to do it so that we can all be elevated by this. I hope others will post theirs, as well.

The floor is now yours to share what you're noticing, with some ground rules ... please speak from your own experience, and please be respectful of different points of view ... there are ways to disagree thoughtfully and to express a variety of viewpoints with respect.

Thank you for spending part of your day here with me. I really do feel so much better now.

A 'creative' way to support Hurricane Katrina relief

It's hard to find words for the blog this week. Life goes on in the face of this week's tragedy, but it feels different ... like it did after 9/11, and after the tsunami. More raw. Edgier. A lot more precious.

I've been trying to stay connected to what's happening and what can be done to help, while being careful not to overdose on TV reports and images. I haven't always had that much self-control, but I am more aware after 9/11 and the tsunami of how it affects me and when it ceases to be productive or healthy. So, I watch a little each day on CNN, and discuss it mostly with John ... how we each view what's happening ... how we would literally prepare for an evacuation if ever faced with that ... what tangible things are most important to us ... how we might react (or at least want to react) if we were in that situation ... how we will contribute to relief efforts. They have been interesting and bonding conversations. Very valuable.

I have also been reading my regular lineup of blogs, of course, and taking in the wide range of emotions expressed, both in the posts themselves and in the comments people leave. These include anger at the government, or the looters. Grief at the utter devastation, so deep and vast that it goes beyond words. Relief when another blogger from the area finally reports in. Frustration and helplessness. Embarrassment that the 'wealthiest nation in the world' isn't taking 'better care of its people.' Empathy for the rescue workers trying to do their jobs under the most challenging of circumstances. And so on.

It's been fascinating for me to observe people's reactions as each day's events unfold, as well as my own reactions ... fascinating to hear or read people's judgments (and in some cases, hatred) ... to notice my judgment about their judgments ... and to wonder whether one form of judgment or hatred is any different than the other. I've decided that it's not.

This prompts me to tell a quick story that I heard in the late 90s from a wonderful woman I met during my corporate days. She made her living as a consultant, going into organizations of all types and teaching the art of dialogue; true dialogue. She told a story one day about something that took place in a previous class. During the dialogue circle one afternoon, a woman had spoken about how much she hated 'skinheads' (which happened to be mentioned frequently in the news at that time). She had heard a disturbing news report while driving in that morning about violence committed by some 'skinheads,' and it had upset her terribly. She mentioned in the circle that she 'just hated, hated, hated skinheads.'

The following morning, when the class reconvened and formed the circle, a gentleman respectfully asked if he could ask her a question. She said yes, and he asked, 'I'm wondering if you might tell me the difference between the skinheads' hatred, and your hatred toward the skinheads.'

'Ooooh ... good question,' she said. She thought for a while, and then finally said, 'I think the difference is that they hate everybody, and I just hate their hating.'

... and the gentleman said, 'Well would you mind if I hated yours?'

Ever since I heard that story, I am so much more aware of my own judgments, and how I may actually be doing the very thing for which I'm judging someone, simply by judging their judging. Whew ... it's twisty and hard to wrap my head around, but it makes sense, at least to me. Of course, becoming aware of it doesn't mean I don't have judgments ... I have plenty (read the post about my sister's dog story, for just one example) ... but it gives me more compassion for how fallible we are ... all trapped in the human condition; how imperfect the world is; and how my own individual thoughts (and how I choose to express them) have an impact. I find it sobering, at the very least.

                                                                 ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

I know you all know about the huge need for financial contributions to The Red Cross, The Salvation Army, etc. There's also Noah's Wish, which is helping the animals and pets that are affected (thanks to Kat for mentioning it in her blog; I didn't know about it and it's such important work that often goes unmentioned).

We're fortunate that John's company has a matching funds program for its employees, so that our donation to The Red Cross can be doubled. If you have an employer, don't forget to check with them and see if they have a similar program so your contribution can go even further.

Yesterday, I also read about another creative way to contribute. Etsy -- a very cool new site where crafters and artists can post their wares for sale -- has set up a Crafters United program to support relief efforts. Crafters are donating items to be put up for sale, and all proceeds are then donated to The Red Cross (click here for background and info). When I checked this morning, there were already 229 items in the store ... everything from this pretty Vintage Floral Print tote bag ... to this beautiful Rainbow of Hope bracelet ... to this Secret Crush Edible Body Spray in Chocolate Coconut (grrrrr!). There are all sorts of amazing items there for every budget and taste, some for even as little as $2.

So, here are some ways you can contribute:

1. If you're crafty (and I KNOW some of you who read this ARE!), consider donating an item to go up for sale. Not only will you be contributing in a tangible way with your handiwork, but it may also bring you some exposure. I had been planning to post some jewelry in their regular site and hadn't gotten around to it, and the idea of donating items for this effort just thrills me, so I'm planning to do that later today or this weekend.
2. If you have a blog, mention Crafters United to help spread the word and encourage people to visit the site.
3. Finally, it goes without saying ... visit the shop and have a look around. I guarantee something there will catch your fancy. If you make a purchase, not only will you be contributing to The Red Cross, but you'll also get something beautiful to enhance your life (or to give as a gift), and, you'll be supporting an artist to boot!

Thank you for reading, and blessings to you and to all of us.