No more house arrest

I tell you, it's the little things that make life sweet.

I got a call last night from the library, letting me know the book I'd ordered had come in. As I got ready to head there this morning, I remembered that I actually have a new laptop now ... one that doesn't require me to always lug the big keyboard around (... since all the keys work on this one -- imagine that). I packed it in my little bag, drove up here, and found a bright little corner with a comfy chair and a side table that's just the right height for typing. Having a steaming mug of hot chocolate close by would make life even sweeter, but this is a good start after what feels like years of 'house arrest' (not being able to take my laptop on the road). Maybe I'll get really adventurous next time and head out to a coffee shop, where I can sip and type at the same time. Woohoo ... I'm livin' large now!

Since we're well into week #2 of Blogging The Artist's Way, I know this is a few days late, but I'd still like to share some of my experiences from week #1.

I did morning pages every day. There were two days when it didn't happen in the morning, and those were the days that I had to leave the house early to go sell my jewelry at local companies. One of those days, I wrote the pages in the evening, and the other day I actually did them during a slow period before the lunch crowd appeared. It was not as cozy as doing them in my usual spot at home, but it was better than not doing them at all.

I'm finding the morning pages very helpful. For me, they're a great tool for getting clear about what's really on my mind, and for doing some clearing and problem solving. I've discovered that I tend to be more linear in my writing than in my thinking. If I try to think through a challenge or problem only in my mind, it's not long before I've wandered off on a bunch of other tangents, most of them unrelated to the topic at hand. I start thinking about the deadline for filing state sales taxes, the TV program I want to be sure to tune into, the calls I have to return ... and before you know it, I've lost track of what I was initially thinking about (hmm ... maybe I have ADD and don't know it?). When I'm writing the morning pages, though, those tangential thoughts come and go in the background, but I still continue to follow the main thread in my writing. So, while there aren't big breakthroughs every day, I do find that something good almost always comes out of doing them.

My artist's date last week was not the NYC bead shops after all, but a local fabric store. I'm still hoping to get to NYC this week, but opted for the fabric store last Friday when the weather forecast was a bit iffy and I had the opportunity to have lunch with a friend, since it's hard to get our schedules to mesh.

Although I haven't done any serious sewing in quite a while, I just love fabric stores ... and we seem to have a dearth of them in this area. The ones we do have primarily carry decorator fabrics for drapes and upholstery. I have the feeling there are not a lot of people around here making their own clothes ... just a hunch. Plus, with the garment district in New York City -- which is loaded with fabulous fabric stores -- not too far away, if one wants a great variety of dress fabrics, they can definitely find them there (... in fact, I must check out some fabric stores when I go to the bead shops, too).

Anyway, there's a fabric store near my home that I've passed dozens of times, always meaning to go in 'when I have the time,' which of course is never. I thought the first artist date was the perfect excuse to check it out, so I headed there right after my lunch.

It was so much fun! It's not a huge place, but they had bolts and bolts of beautiful decorator fabrics ... the ones that you just have to touch because they're so sensual and luxurious-looking. They also had some dress fabrics, racks and racks of cotton prints (perfect for quilting) and oodles and oodles of trims and ribbons. They even had little bags of 'scraps' with various bits of ribbons, buttons, lace, and trims that would be perfect for mixed media collages or scrapbooking. I had a bag in my hand and now I regret not getting it. You see, I've finally admitted to myself (with John's help) that I'm a packrat when it comes to certain things ... like anything that has the potential to be used in some creative project someday ... so I was trying to be on my best behavior. I couldn't resist, however, picking up three Butterick patterns that were in the bargain bin for around $3 each. I'm amazed at how much patterns have gone up in price since I've sewn anything (the Vogue patterns I like are $25), so finding these inexpensive ones for some basic items were icing on the cake for my artist's date. Now I just need some fabric ... and oh yeah, some time ... and I can look like I just stepped out of a Chico's catalog.

Aside from the morning pages and artist's date, I did several of the other exercises last week. I wrote out my 'blurts' (... these are the things your inner critic blurts out when you say things such as, 'I'm a talented artist,' for instance). I found that I had about 12 (so far) ... including things like 'you're not original enough,' 'you're too slow,' and 'there are millions of other people far more talented than you.' Cameron then recommends turning those into affirmations. Instead of that, though, since it feels like too much of a leap, I found it helpful to take an interim step: I wrote out a 'rebuttal' or logical response for each blurt. For instance, for 'you're too slow,' I wrote: "Of course I am -- I'm still learning -- but I'm a lot faster than when I started. And, I will become a lot faster with more practice. Besides, speed isn't everything, and it's okay to be slow when you're a beginner." After doing that for each of my blurts, I was more easily able to come up with affirmations ... for example, "I'm getting faster and better every day!"

I also did the 'Imaginary Lives' exercise, where we have to list five alternative lives we would have fun leading. This one was easy. In fact, I listed 10, which means I've already done one of this week's tasks, since she asks us to list another five. In no particular order:

• Writer
• Window dresser
• Photographer
• Owner of a little bohemian cafe/bookstore in a funky town
• magazine editor ( ... this was my dream job when I was growing up)
• Fiber or mixed media artist
• Interior designer
• Art therapist/teacher
• Owner of an arts/crafts studio where people come to take great classes ... like this one in Mass.
• ... and my ultimate dream life: to live in a cottage in the woods or near the beach, where I have a bright and well-equipped studio filled with all kinds of great materials, books, and resources ( ... maybe like this one, from one of Stefani's recent posts, which had me drooling all over my new laptop). Every day, I go into my studio and play and experiment with different art forms ... whatever strikes my fancy that day. One day I write. Another, I sew. Another, I make jewelry, or knit, or do collage. Another day I try calligraphy, or mosaic. Another day I go out and take a bunch of photographs. Julia didn't say we had to be earning a living in any of these alternative lives ... so, this would be heaven on earth for me. Other people can have their high-powered lives, their fame and fortune, their Blackberries (... almost said Cranberries) filled to the brim with lunches and appointments. I'll just be in my own little corner playing, thank you very much. In my dreams, this studio is on the second floor of a little building that's separate from the main house, and that means John has his own creative space/garage just downstairs. So, while I'm creating upstairs, he's working on his bike or practicing his bass, which has quickly become his new obsession. Of course, my space also has a cozy daybed or chaise for those necessary and refreshing daily naps.

Ah yes, I'm certainly having fun with The Artist's Way so far ... and I'm also getting a lot out of reading other people's blogs and hearing about their experiences and insights. It expands my learning exponentially ... not only because I see new things in the material that I wouldn't have seen on my own ... but because I learn so much and get so inspired by seeing all the interesting things people are doing, and all the cool ways in which each person practices his or her own form of art, whatever that is.

So, now we're in week #2, and while some of the initial enthusiasm has been tempered a bit by the realization that there's real work involved and that some of the stuff that gets stirred up is not exactly the most becoming, I believe it's worth it.

In a recent post, Kat shared a beautiful poem by Mary Oliver, entitled, 'The Journey.' David Whyte (my favorite poet) has also written a poem called The Journey, which I think also applies:

THE JOURNEY

Above the mountains
   the Geese turn into
      the light again

painting their
   black silhouettes
     on an open sky.

Sometimes everything
   has to be
      enscribed across
         the heavens

so you can find
   the one line
      already written
         inside you.

Sometimes it takes
   a great sky
      to find that

small, bright
   and indescribable
      wedge of freedom
         in your own heart.

Sometimes with
   the bones of the black
      sticks left when the fire
         has gone out

someone has written
   something new
      in the ashes
         of your life.

You are not leaving
   you are arriving.

   -- by David Whyte

Here's to the journey we're all on together ... whether we're doing The Artist's Way or not.

Comments

[Kerstin]

Hi Maria - I can totally see you in your ultimate dream life, it sounds so idyllic, creative and fun, just like you! And who knows, if you can find a way of turning some of your work into hard cash, this dream life may not be a million light years away :) The reality of having to make a living is often seen as a stumbling block to a more creative life but I am thinking that perhaps the real dream is to be able to combine both and to make the money earning part fun, too.

I love going to cafes with my laptop, at the moment I do that pretty much every day although I have a sneaky feeling that I will succumb to more voluntary house arrests once we are moved into our new place.

I like your idea of the logical responses for the blurts. I could not get into the affirmations, I know that they work for many people but they never sit quite so comfortably with me. Your approach appeals to me so I will try that.

Thanks, Kerstin x

[melba]

Hi! Your ideal studio sounds similiar to my ideal studio set up! I also love to sit in a cafe with books and a latte (preferably without children) If all goes as planned that will be my AD for this Friday. I think everything is ok now with my email - so please try again, I think my husband had put some blocker on our email. No Pressure, but I know that you have seen MMM. I hope that you get a chance to participate. I think it will be good for you to put together a Memoir. You have so much to be proud of; it is very motivational to have something tangible that documents your accomplishments from your own perspective. Again - no pressure, but I think you would enjoy the process!

[Rebekah]

I so relate to the way morning pages helps focus your thinking. I tend to go off on tangents in my mind as well. Your fabric store jaunt sounded lovely, although I keep wondering where it is from your home. I never found it while I was there - just a quilt store in a little town up the hill from Pluckemon, whose name I can't remember right now. Your studio and perfect life description makes me want to settle right in. We enjoy so many of the same things. Oh and I loved your process of blurt, rebuttal to affirmation. That makes it much easier to form the affirmation. Thank you.

[deb]

First, I LOVE David Whyte. (have you ever heard him read? talk about saucifying! yum city!) ;)

Second, I have NEVER enjoyed the Artist' Way blurt/affirmation thing for the very same reason you describe - and so I never did it. But your solution resonates with me so I'm going to give it a go. (who cares if it's week two - i'm all about fluidity!) ;)

And lastly (in the world where it's all about me...) -- YEE HA; I'm commenting again! I have no idea what was wrong with my computer/TypePad that made it impossible for me to comment for all this time (ohmygod, i think it has been 3 weeks!), and I have no idea what made everything all better, but it IS better now and to that I say hallelujah! (send good vibes that it stays that way!)

I can't tell you how challenging it's been to be silent (save in our emails, of course) when reading all of the cool stuff you've been writing about. What a relief to have this avenue to connect again. You're free to roam with your new laptop, and I'm free to comment again. What a good day. ;) xoxo D

[kat]

what a wonderful post maria!! i too love fabric stores, mainly because they're a feast for the eyes and the soul. thank you for sharing that great poem. and if you ever want to open a crafty place like the one in mass, i'm game!! :-)

and oh wow, that studio...i'm speechless...

[Stefani]

(Thanks for the link!)

I second your studio cabin in the woods. And I like the bit about it being upstairs - so yeah, Steve could have his space downstairs in my scenario. Close but not in the same room. I want mine to be about 20 minutes away from yours so we could visit each other - and go out to lunch or breakfast sometimes. Wouldn't that be cool!?

[Stefani]

Oh wait, one more thing. Sewing patterns are how much these days?? Yowza. And why? That Vogue price of $25 seems totally excessive - what am I missing about this?

[tinker]

What a lovely poem - it does fit the journey we're on, quite well!
And what you wrote about the AW stirring things up, resonated with me - I agree it IS worth it, though.
Glad you were able to get your new laptop & an Artist's Date (I'm a packrat, too; I know how hard it would have been for me to leave the store without buying one of those grab-bags...Congrats on your iron-willpower!)

[liz elayne]

I love the description of your dream studio. And this David Whyte poem - just what I needed to read this morning. So good that you now have your laptop to take with you...

[Jocelyn]

What an amazing and inspiring post! Thank you so much for sharing in such detail. Your ultimate dream is amazing... I just want to be a fly on the wall and absorb some of the amazing energy I can envision floating through your space!

In love and light,
Jocelyn

[Paint Chip]

Oh I am so like you in that I have recently faced the fact that I'm a packrat too when it comes to anything that has the potential to be used in some creative project someday. Even though much of my art is created using found treasures and recycled goodies... being on good behavior when I'm in a store with such delightful "toys" is just so hard for me. I still want to buy up "art just waiting to happen" type trinkets.

I have enjoyed reading this post and several other entries in your blog. And I love reading what others comment as well. Thanks for sharing your thoughts with us, and giving folks another reason to chatter with one another.

I'm enjoying the AW friendship growth and am glad to hear that you are too. May you have continued enjoyment from your AW journeys.

[Swirly]

I love hearing about your AW adventures...so glad you are savoring it all!

[Amy]

I love fabric stores too...that's great that you have so many in your area!
Lovely poem! Thanks for the inspiration!

[Jason]

I've seen that book The Artist's Way around, but have never had the opportunity to really go through it. The exercises seem really cool. I'll definitely have to give it a closer look next time I'm visiting my favorite place - the book store.